Here's a TOPIC NO ONE wants to talk about.........
SELF DESTRUCTIONSelf Destruction can be in many forms but it all comes out to be the same thing......you are angry and or lonely and so you pick up vices to help you cope.
Whether it be cutting yourself, drinking, drugs, gluttony, the love of some onethat controls.......... any of them, they all have the same effects. It will destroy you and your friends and your family.
So if we know these things will DESTROY us and all the things we love why why why why do we do these things.
I guess I am as good as any to be talking about this.....I went through a very bad SELF DESTRUCT phase......come close to loosing my job, alienatated my mom and dad, abused my friends (by that I didn't hit em, abused mentally) and just basically stop giving a crap about anything but ever way in the world to forget what was eating from the inside out!
I know you have all heard that admitting you have a problem is the first step. Well that is very true. But truely the first step for me was a wake up call from one of my best friends and she set me straight.......NO ONE IS GOING TO PUT UP WITH YOU ANY MORE. YOU NEED HELP DO YOU THINK YOU NEED HELP? and of course from that night I set it in my mind that I did need help and that something had to be done to cure my insides, my heart, my soul and the rest of me followed! I didn't find relief in GOD either! So those of you who are bible thumpers sorry to dissapoint because I know how yall love to hear that GOD showed someone the way.......but you know what that is not always true!
My road to a better me was paved with therapy and a commitment to not partake of things that I know are going to trigger any type of break down......that inturn would cause me to think that I needed those vices to help me cope. Until I realized on my own in therapy that I was safe at home, that bad things just happen sometimes, that it is ok to be angry as long as you can handle the rage and know how to use it to make you stronger and that you can recover from bad things then my road changed from dirt to smooth pavement. Things got so much more clear and so much easier.
I guess what I am trying to say is this......family and friends can be helpful........but there are times when you need to get into to see someone that doesn't know you can't judge you and only has your health to think of. Not to say that friends and family don't have that in mind but they can with out knowing it be judgemental and can hinder your recovery more than you think.
Well ....... That is all for today. Wow don't know where all that came from sometimes I guess you just get on a roll!
posted by Guvnah @ 7:36 PM
2 Comments:
preach on my sista!
I was touched by what you wrote. It's so true. Sometimes people have too much pride to admit they need help. My wake up call was realizing how close I came one day to hurting someone I love very much. Therapy and some meds helped me get my head clear. Now I don't need either. I've learned how to handle things instead of letting them build up inside.
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